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Lindvall and his followers teach that betrothal as a kind of half way house between marriage and engagement.

If breaking up during a romantic relationship will really lead to all the damaging consequences that Lindvall suggests, then we need to be sure that our children don't fall in love or experience any romantic emotions or thoughts prior to knowing with absolute certainty who they will marry.It is an irrevocable commitment to marry a person of the father’s choosing.Prior to the betrothal, the couple should have no feelings for each other. It is during the betrothal period that the couple are allowed to actually fall in love.This is more accurately preparation for divorce than for marriage." Israel Wayne has argued similarly, writing that "After a while, a deep-rooted pattern of leaping out of relationships is developed. If the reason a person moves through a series of boyfriends or girlfriends is because of a fundamentally wrong approach to relationships – whether because they are flirtatious, or seeking the thrill of short-term intimacy rather than the potential of marriage, or because they are unwilling to stick it out through the difficult as well as the positive seasons of a relationship - then of course these sinful attitudes, like any sinful attitude, are going to become easier the longer they are practiced.Once such a person is married, if things don’t go their way in the relationship, they revert to default mode: bail out! However, consider the case of a woman I know who approached relationships very conscientiously and prayerfully, but who, through a combination of misfortunes and mistakes, went through two boyfriends plus one broken engagement before she found the man she finally married.




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For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…


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