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By looking inward, we can see how much society has indoctrinated us to believe the curious double standards of sexual “purity” in men and women.In exposing just how little sense these fears and anxieties make, we can help de-stigmatize virginity.

Exploring and exploding these fears is an important exercise in self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

But I’ve spent a lot of time talking about why being a virgin isn’t necessarily unusual or something to be ashamed of.

Instead, I want to turn this particular trope around for a moment and talk about people choose to have sex.

Ironically enough, the incel (or “involuntarily celibate”) community are among the most vociferous of the people who spread this fear.

By their own logic, their imposed abstinence is a mark of shame; the fact that nobody has chosen to sleep with them is proof of their inferiority.




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I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother.


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Some people with hoarding problems have found EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) very helpful in reprocessing experiences that may have triggered their hoarding.


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